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Charlton Heston

by CrackTown

supported by
kevin baldwin
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Christopher Peel
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about

The only song about the baffling dichotomy 'twixt public perception and the unknowable private reality you'll ever need. Some, in fact, have argued that even this is pretty superfluous - but it's got a good chorus, so they can bugger right off.

lyrics

My baby put the 'phone down after saying "Fuck you!"
I was out of booze; I was stony broke; I had nothing left to do,
So I put the television on; let my mind turn into stew
And there and then I saw it: the answer to all my troubles - as clear as a burning bush talking in THX digital stereo...
CHORUS
I wish that I was Charlton Heston
(I wish that I was Charlton Heston)
He's the king of ev'ry genre, right from Biblical to Western
(I wish that I was Charlton Heston)
Life would be a picnic and I wouldn't have a care,
As a gun-totin', Bible-quotin' multimillionaire

He fought mutants in the future and he battled with the Moors,
He went atop Mt Sinai and he brought back God's own Law,
Due to some damn-fool executive, he played a Mexican detective;
Did the Sistine Chapel ceiling - didn't spill a drop on the floor

CHORUS

He beat the talkin' monkeys and he rowed a boat in Rome,
He even made a quite convincin' English Sherlock Holmes,
He's taller; richer; craggier than me,
Made a fortune readin' the Bible out on DVD

CHORUS

credits

released July 10, 2013
Written by CrackTown. Produced and engineered (badly) by CrackTown + The Boy

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about

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CrackTown UK

Loveable cultural mudlarks gleaning acoustic treasure from the putrescent corpse of the UK as it bobs sickeningly in the noxious and apathy-choked estuary of the early 21st Century. Blues/country/folk/punk swallowed seperately and whole, then sicked up into your unsuspecting faces as a surprisingly palatable mélange seasoned with Secular Humanist rage. Country music with knob gags is what it is. ... more

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